Supporting Your Child with Anxiety
As a caregiver, watching your child struggle with anxiety can be heartbreaking. You want to take their pain away and see them thrive. While you can’t always get rid of their anxiety, your support can make a world of difference in how your child copes and grows. The following is a guide on how to support your child through their anxiety without trying to “fix” them, but by helping them feel safe, seen, and understood.
Recognize the Signs of Anxiety
Anxiety does not always look like fear or nervousness. It can appear as:
Stomachaches or headaches
Irritability or anger
Trouble sleeping
Avoidance of certain places or situations
Perfectionism or constant reassurance-seeking
Struggling to concentrate
Understanding that these behaviors may stem from anxiety, and not defiance, can help shift your response from frustration to empathy.
2. Create a Safe Environment
Make it easy for your child to talk to you! This means:
Listening more than you talk
Validating their feelings (“That sounds hard” vs. “You are overreacting”)
Staying calm, even when their emotions are big
Avoid trying to solve your child’s problem. Often, children just need to know you are there and that you hear them! It is important you make sure they know that their feelings matter.
3. Teach Them About Anxiety
Knowledge is power, even for kids! Help your child understand their anxiety and what it is: a normal response to stress. When children understand what is happening in their brains and bodies, they feel less afraid of the anxiety itself. To do this, use kid-friendly metaphors such as:
Anxiety is like a smoke alarm that goes off even when there is no fire
It’s your brain’s way of trying to keep you safe, even if it is wrong sometimes
4. Model Healthy Coping Skills
Children learn a lot by watching you. Let them see how you handle stress:
Talk through your own feelings calmly (“I’m feeling overwhelmed right now. I am going to stop what I am doing and take a few deep breaths”)
Practice coping skills together, such as deep breathing, yoga, mindfulness activities, and grounding techniques
Normalize verbalizing feelings and asking for help when needed
By modeling emotional regulation, you show them that feelings are normal and manageable, not something to fear.
5. Encourage “Brave Steps”
Avoidance strengthens anxiety! Gently encourage (do not force!) your child to face their fears in small steps.
If your child fears social situations, start with a short playdate with one friend
Celebrate effort, not just outcomes (“I’m proud of you for trying, even though it was hard”)
Praise their courage, not their calmness. The goal is not to eliminate the anxiety, but to help them build confidence in handling it.
6. Establish Routines and Predictability
Children with anxiety thrive on structure. Predictable routines around meals, sleep, and transitions can help reduce worry. Where change is unavoidable, give your child as much information as possible and involve them in problem-solving.
7. Know When to Seek Professional Help
If your child’s anxiety is interfering with daily life, (refusing to go to school, panic attacks, extreme withdrawal), it may be time to seek support from a therapist, counselor, or pediatrician! Therapy can help your child learn coping skills to manage anxiety effectively, and many families see real improvement with the right support!
You don’t need to be perfect to help your child, just present! Your calm presence, your belief in them, and your willingness to sit with them through the tough moments are some of the most beneficial gifts you can give. Anxiety is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign your child feels and cares deeply. With your guidance, they can learn to manage it and grow into their own!